


The Things He Doesn't Say

by pb_nj



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Schmico, Season 17, mix of headcanons and tv canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:40:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27719668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pb_nj/pseuds/pb_nj
Summary: 3 Times Nico acts out tsundere (and Levi knowing how to perfectly deal with it) and the 1 time he blurts out the truthTsundere: A fictional character who fits the archetype of having cold and even hostile personality towards another person before gradually showing a warm and caring side over time.
Relationships: Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 15
Kudos: 122





	The Things He Doesn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> I ended up posting way too many headcanons and too many fic prompts on Tumblr to the point that I've convinced myself to write a fic after 7 years?
> 
> There will be a few British slang in there jsyk but its 4am and my mind can't decipher between American and British slang anymore.

_**I Love You** _

Levi never shied away from speaking his affection and it was one of those mornings he stayed overnight at Nico's knowing they have the morning off the next day. Watching the fellow across the kitchen island wearing nothing but track pants, hair floopy and hanging over his eyes while preparing their breakfast, he can't help but blurt it out, "I love you."

Instantaneously, without even looking up, Nico's sideway smirk appears on his lips, "I know you do."

"You.. Are such an ass." Levi rolls his eyes but there was mirth in his tone as he shakes his head at Nico.

He doesn't need to hear it. He used to yearn for Nico to say it back but now..

Now he knows it's in the way Nico cuts up Levi's toast into perfect triangles, without crust, butter and then peanut butter and just a smidgen of jam on top, just the way Levi likes it.

It's in the way he grabs Levi's waist and pulls him in for a quick peck as the other was on his way to grab some milk from the fridge. Nico doesn't let go of him and Levi complains the coffee will go cold. Nico would just smile and let him go but his eyes would follow Levi's every movement.

It's in the way Nico knows just how Levi likes his coffee and would watch Levi's reaction to gauge if he's done it perfectly (and he knows when it isn't because Levi is the worst liar and Nico won't hesitate to grab the mug, pour it down the sink and make him another one until it is spot on).

It's in the way that Nico convinces Levi to just stay the rest of the morning and he can borrow his clothes so that Levi doesn't have to go home and get ready for their afternoon shift. Levi protests because the clothes would be too big but Nico would keep pulling him back, suggest to showering together even and Levi relents.

It's in the way Nico would hold Levi's hand over the console as they're driving to work and when they're at a stoplight, he'd lift the hand his holding, kiss the back of it as he looks softly over at Levi, _I love you too_

_**Hold Me Close** _

Levi found him eventually, in one of their favourite on call rooms. Why he didn't think of coming here first he didn't know. He should've known better that this would be where Nico is most comfortable sulking on his own. It's the smallest on call room but the single bed can fit two people. Nico likes small spaces when he's emotional, likes knowing where all the corners of the room are and feels grounded when the walls of the room are within touching distance. 

He was currently sat on the edge of the bed, hands clasped together, staring at the blank wall. He's lost yet another patient, this one he actually got close to and got to know well. He was only 18 and was inspired to be a surgeon. Nico called him his little prodigy. Nothing went wrong this time, the boy's body just gave out and Levi was scrubbed in to this surgery with Nico and even he had a hard time calling the time of death when Nico couldn't utter a word, just stood there rooted on the spot looking down at the boy as if it was all just going to be a joke and his heart would pick up again. 

"Do you want some company? Maybe, I can hold you?"

Nico shakes his head, letting out an exasperated sigh as he finally looks up at Levi, "No Levi, I don't want to be held. Do _you_ want to be held?"

His tone and eyes were annoyed but Levi knows him now, he just has to look at the shivering hands and he knows.

"Yes, I'd like to be held. I know he was your patient but I've grown fond of him too."

Nico's eyes changed from angered to numb before he drops his eyes and nods, patting the space next to him. Gingerly, Levi makes his way over, wraps his arms around Nico's waist and hugs him from the side. Nico wraps an arm around his shoulder, patting soothingly. 

Later on, they'd end up lying on the bed and it's Nico who has his arms wrapped around Levi's waist, face hidden on Levi's neck as he makes ragged breaths, trying to keep himself from crying. Levi pretends he doesn't know and stops himself making soothing caresses to keep up with the pretense. Nico knows how obvious he's being but he is grateful Levi is letting him keep whatever strong facade he has left. _Thank you, I needed you the most._

_**Stress Relief** _

_"Just stress relief."_

Levi is replaying this phrase in his head as he looks up at the fancy hotel ceiling, catching his breath. He should've known better than to agree to this but his very being is craving and yearning for Nico still. And the sex is amazing, always was.

He thought he's already gotten used to Nico's cold persona but sometimes it gets too much and he just wants to hear exactly what Nico is feeling and not play the little hidden affection game they've somehow fallen into. That led to their breakup and it was agonising. 

Nico was.. is, his first love and he can't let go that easily. Nico didn't seem to have a hard time carrying on with life after the breakup. Levi is still a mess and he isn't afraid of showing it. Although when the pandemic hit, he'd watch Nico worriedly, knowing well that the fellow is keeping it all in and pretending to be numb to everything.

He looks at the fancy clock in the room and gosh why is everything so fancy and why did Nico choose this hotel just for a few hours of romp in the sack? Truth be told, Nico invited Levi over to his apartment but it was too familiar, too soon, too.... intimate for what they only are now.

The Levi who thought he knew Nico throughout would have thought that this is Nico's way of showing he missed him, by taking him back to the place where they've shared memories. The Levi now, who wants to protect whatever sanity he has left, pushed for a hotel room and not thinking of any glimmering hope. 

Levi realises he's been looking at the clock without actually checking the time. 10pm, he can still catch the commute home. 

Just as he sat up, Nico attempted to throw an arm around his waist and it ended up connecting quite strongly against his bare chest. "Ow!"

"Shit sorry! I-.. where.. are.. are you leaving?" Nico raises one brow, sitting up and looking so adorably confused that Levi could hardly stop himself from leaning over to kiss that expression away. He doesn't. 

"Yeah it's late and I need to go home before the last commute."

"But.. Wh-.. Okay." 

Levi searches his face but Nico just turns away, scratching the back of his neck as he lies down, back facing Levi. He sighs as he moves to get up, cleans himself and put his clothes back on. 

The silence was awkward and Levi couldn't wait to get out of there. Just as he makes his way to the door, Nico bolts out of bed, naked and all, grabbing Levi's elbow. 

"You know, there's a perfectly good bath tub we-.. You didn't get to use at all and baths are good stress relief." He gives him a coy smile and Levi could only blink a few times, eyes betraying how perplexed he's feeling. 

"It's such a waste, I mean I could run you a bath and maybe I can join you too? I mean if we're relieving stress, might as well just go all out right?"

Levi stands there, silent for god knows how long. He's tempted to rebutt and say he isn't stress out anymore but he notices Nico's fidgeting fingers on his free hand. Levi knows this gesture, knows what Nico is not saying and he isn't sure if he wants to fall back into this routine again. 

But as he watches Nico close and open his free hand, notice his pleading eyes which he normally never allows to show, Levi lets go of the door knob and nods. 

He moves to put his bag back down and he doesn't see the way Nico smiles behind him before preparing the bath. 

Minutes later, they're silent in the tub, Levi's back against Nico's chest as they relax in the warmth of the water. The silence isn't awkward this time and Nico languidly places kisses on Levi's shoulder. 

And then a few more hours later, Nico watches the sleeping Levi across from him, lying on his side facing Nico. He watches his lashes flutter and makes the decision to pull him across and tuck him against his chest, head underneath his chin and wrapping his arms securely around Levi. It's then he finally feels comfortable and slowly falls asleep, _will you come back to me?_

**"I can't lose you"**

Levi was walking ahead of Nico, looking for something in his bag. It's been weeks of this colleagues with benefits things they have. They can't exactly be friends with benefits because they hardly ever talk when they're not having sex and sometimes they tend to get into a spat when Nico blatantly ignores some of Levi's diagnosis. Levi sometimes thinks it's probably because Nico loves riling him up and he's always known Nico finds him cute when he's all vexed and pouty, not that Nico can see that from the behind his mask. 

They're on their way to Nico's because Levi finally felt guilty for making Nico spend money on hotels whenever they have sex and Nico doesn't let him pay. But if Levi wants to be true to himself, it's because maybe, just maybe something in their dynamic may change if they go back to where they used to do things together. His heart is on the line, he knows this. He's gotten his hopes up again, he knows this. But Nico always asks him to stay afterwards and he remembers falling asleep by himself but always wakes up with him in Nico's arms and.. It has to mean something right?

"I can't lose you." Levi stops, is confused for minute before he realises the voice came from behind him. He looks back and sees a very shocked Nico who seems to also not believe that came out from his own mouth. 

"What? What do you mean?" He walks back to Nico, looking up at him. This is the closest he's been to the fellow without sex as a prerequisite.

"I..." Nico swallows thickly, avoiding Levi's gaze as he takes a shaky breath. "I've just been thinking what if it was you on that bed and not Meredith Grey. And god knows I'm glad it's not you and I know this is shitty of me because everyone needs Meredith Grey but what if you were one of those people who I can't wake up, whose life is dependent on a machine and.."

He trails off, closing his eyes before finally looking back at Levi. He reaches for Levi's hands and holds them delicately as if he would crumble at the slightest touch.

"I don't deserve you and I'm not someone who will say how I feel all the time. I show my affections differently and it's not how you want to be loved but... The thought of losing you forever, I don't think I can ever live with that." 

Half of Nico's face is obscured by his mask but his eyes show so much, so much that Levi has never seen him show before and thinks he doesn't even need to hear all those to know what Nico wants to say. 

"I love you Levi and it's stupid that it took a world pandemic to make me realise how much I do and how much I don't want to lose you. And I want to make every single second we have together count. I won't be a perfect lover but I hope you know, whatever I don't say, you will still feel how much I care about you." Nico pulls him closer, anxiously waiting for an answer and yes they're breaking the distance rule but they're both too engrossed to worry (and to Levi's excuse and relief they've both tested negative)

Levi breaks the eye contact and laughs, shaking his head, before looking back up at Nico. "With how much you've said tonight, I don't think you need to say anymore for the rest of our lives."

Nico's eyes widened before they crinkle, finally letting out a relieved chuckle. "The rest of our lives?"

"If you'll have me?" Levi shrugs shyly.

"I won't have anyone else, I'm in love with you Levi."

Levi smiles, genuinely smiles for the first time in weeks and he wants to kiss Nico badly but he'd rather save it in the comforts of their privacy. He moves to turn around and go but Nico holds him back, "You're not gonna say it back?"

Levi gives him an amused pointed look and they both know where this is headed, "I will in 2 minutes. I'd just like to see you sweat it out."

Nico laughs and just like Levi did back then, this time he's the one who hugs Levi from the back, holding him close and from now on he's never letting go.

_Be mine, forever._


End file.
